Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Smellage?

Do all train stations smell the same or does it depend on the people who reside in them?
Does the air and train scent blot out the atoms of people smell?

Hi Spoon, 
❊ Berlin: commuter trains smell of many things, not all of them pleasant: wet umbrellas, body odor, unwashed dogs, kebab and currywurst, sometimes spilled beer or schnapps.Berlin has announced plans to lace the trains with its very own de-odoring odour, the S-Bahn perfume.
❊ New York: Herald Square (34th Street) seems to get the award for smelliest station.
❊ Paris Metro: a blend of sweat, perfume and burned rubber. 
❊ UK: Apparently Virgin Trains smell of sewerage because they have placed the toilet tank vent too near to the Air Conditioning intake.

I found this list of types of trains: 
German trains - slick, modern, metallic
Swiss trains - clean, wholesome, clean
Italian trains - rattletrap, uncomfortable, musty
French trains - luxurious, fragrant, velvety

And for malodours on public transport services, companies can get their own fragrance created.
Bob x

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Helen and Lucy

Browsing to see if Helen and Lucy was an original idea. Apparently its been done before and with some style!

http://www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com/costume-idea.html

Perhaps Helen and Lucy should join the page?

I miss them.

Mr and Mrs Bob together with Mr and Mrs Unlands
are proud to invite Helen and/or Lucy
to celebrate an intervention into the place of the railway station
at any station their choice on any time of their choice
and afterwards to document their interventions. 
Dress code:
box-like.

‘We would be honoured if you would 
share this special occasion with us’

RSVP

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Saturday after breakfast

Tom said yesterday that the aficionados of all things trainy, Colin and Rich, prefer the term 'railway station' to 'train station' as it is 'less American'. Not of course that there is anything problematic with being an American per se (indeed, some of my best friends are American [at this point, I am led to believe that kids today would type 'lol' to indicate that what was written was a bit daft]), rather the train folk in the UK have a very particular discursive strategy when chatting about all things locomotive. 

Im on a train.

Blue and purple seat.
Small table.
Quiet coach.
Avoiding an essay.
Milky way and railcard in my lap.
Five and a half hours to go.
Going to attempt these tasks and report back at 3pm.
1) Get someone on a platform to wave to me
2) Make a sign and leave it in a different coach
3) Find and document a real train spotter
4) Change my outfit in the toilets and see if anyone notices
My Mission begins!

So its 3.47 and i have been distracted somwhat by a lady next to me. In nice ways. I noticed her ticket was going to take her to Newcastle but since it was a quiet coach i didnt interupt her. 2 hours after she got on i became rather bored with my laptop, greys anatomy and my warm sandwichs and decided to make the first move, taking my head phones out and looking bored. Sucsess she talked to me. Brilliant! Our conversation turned to what people should do to keep occupied on a train and I explained that I often did some knitting as it passed the time and often started conversations. In telling her this a conversation arose and we were off, chatting away for the next 2 hours. Discussing how a train could be modified to keep people happy when travelling a long way. We decide on themed carriges. One for children - soft play, tables that convert into white and black boards and games (including connect four, guess who and naughts and crosses). An onboard library, with use of a railcard one book, magazine or leaflet can be borrowed for any ammount of time free of charge and on the next train you happen to be on you can exchange it for another! A student carrige with a giant facebook wall, games consoles, An on board mum with drinks and snacks, a washing machine and dryer and bean bags. A buisness man section with space for breifcases, coffee machines, newspapers and a big clock.  ETC
Suddenly im near Leeds and havent done any of my tasks, I tell her about them and our lessons. She seems amused and the conversation switches to costumes for partys (an explanation of Helen and Lucy). A spoon discussion follows the chat about how  I needed to see a train spotters but i was waiting till i got to York as i always see a few there! Next thing i know im in Darlington, 15 minutes from home, laptop and food spread across my lap and table, suitcases in the next carrige and needing to phone home, heck! A quick rummage, a swift goodbye and I waddle up and down the carriges collecting my bits and bobs.
As I was leaving she said 'the things i will remember are 'your love of spoons and fitting your thumb perfectly into one, that trainspotters come from york and the story of how you learnt to knit' :)

Friday, March 27, 2009

Train station monks?



Performance at the train station to me should work like a balm (although I love the word unguent as it sounds thicker and more touchable) its salve over the wound of monotony / daily routine that may sometimes sting a bit but ultimately brings healing....

What does performance 'do'?

Dear and brave Unlanders,
I have been thinking about what use is performance within the
 scape of our train station (and I would like to think that by now it is very much ours now), and what does placing performance there achieve. Performance can be seen as way to prise apart ideas, concepts and understandings in space. Moreover, performance can be a sledgehammer, a brick, leverage, a slippery thing, a salve, a remedy, an unction, a marriage, cement, a junction, a roundabout, a dual-carriage-way, a stop-sign, a warning, a thing to trip over and of course a wedge: '[p]erformance studies [...] functions as a wedge in the institutional understanding and organization of knowledge' (Diana Taylor, in Performance Studies by Richard Schechner 2002: 7). What ways would you like performance to work for you?

p.s.
Your business cards look a little like this ...
Bob x